Don't ask why I needed this, but here is a SQL function that will abbreviate a string:

{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
create function dbo.fnAbbreviate(@source nvarchar(100))
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
returns nvarchar(100)
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
begin
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
    if charindex(' ', @source) = 0
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
        return @source
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
 
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
    declare @result nvarchar(100)
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
    declare @i int
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
    declare @char nvarchar(1)
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
    set @result = ''
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
    set @i = 0;
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
 
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
    while @i < len(@source)
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
    begin
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
        set @char = substring(@source, @i, 1)
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
        if CONVERT(varbinary, @char) = CONVERT(varbinary, UPPER(@char))
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
        begin
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
            set @result = @result + @char
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
        end
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
        set @i = @i + 1
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
    end
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
    set @result = REPLACE(@result, ' ', '')
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none"}
    return @result;
{style="padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 8pt; padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0em; overflow: visible; width: 100%; color: black; border-top-style: none; line-height: 12pt; padding-top: 0px; font-family: consolas, 'Courier New', courier, monospace; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; background-color: #f4f4f4; border-bottom-style: none"}
end